Friday, March 30, 2007
The 11 Best Insane Clown Posse Songs
Have any of you ever had Faygo soda? It's disgusting. It's the sweetest substance on the planet. Basically, some wacky scientist in the middle of Nebraska came up with some magic formula to carbonate cane sugar. The result is a drink so potent, you can get a cavity just by being in the same room as it. My one experience with Faygo came in my visit to Detroit, where they had an entire wall dedicated to the 400 flavors of Faygo soda. Hey, guys...400 flavors of crap is still crap! Granted it was only 33 cents for a 3-liter bottle of the stuff. Yes, you heard me right...3-liter bottle. Is there no shame? So to get this delicacy, you had to purchase it from a fat man, reading porn while seated by a 2-foot thick wall of bullet-proof glass. Note to store owners, if you need bullet-proof glass thick enough to stop a cruise missile, then you might want to change locations. Getting British soldiers out of Iran isn't as complicated as liquor security is in Motown. (oh sorry, too soon?) You need two forms of ID just to pay with cash. Eventually, I walked out of the store with not one...not two...but three bottles of this famous potion. I drank until my bladder crawled out of my ass and slapped me in the face, causing me to stop. It tasted like I was drinking a popsicle that had been sitting under a heat lamp for one hour too long. Basically, it was like eating escargot. You're not supposed to like it. But once in your life, you just have to try it.
A new Insnae Clown Posse CD is in stores this week.
Here are the 11 Best Flavors of Faygo: (oh, come on, you really wanted an Clown Posse list?)
1. Black Cherry
3. Rock and Rye
4. Root Beer
6. Moon Mist
7. Dr. Faygo