Thursday, October 26, 2006

The 11 Best Cibo Matto Songs

In the 90s, alternative music was everywhere. So college radio had to dig deep to go reeeeally alternative. If you listened to your local college radio station (which is very unlikely) or you had a neighbor that worked at a college radio station (more likely) you probably heard Cibo Matto blasting from their speakers. When they came out...they were pegged as the female Japanese Beastie Boys. That's because people who work at labels are idiots. This was the same time Beastie Boys were being rediscovered and bandwagoners were just uncovering Paul's Boutique. Paul's Boutique is quirky...Cibo Matto is quirky = therefore they are the same. Despite the terrible comparison, CM's first album was very quirky...they also sounded nothing like anything else out there. They sang about chicken and beef jerkey and sounded like they were singing jingles for Japanese food products. Of course, to spawn further comparisons, the Beaties signed the girl duo to their label Grand Royal.

It took until their second album for the girls to truly begin to mature...a big part of it may have had to do with production from Mike D. and their expanded band line-up one-off Butter 08. Whatever made it happen, their 1996 release "Stereotype A" is a practical college radio masterpiece. They went from choppy casio-style beats to swooning romantic melodies. The change was a great one. They had proven that they were not a one-off musical side-show, they were a groundbreaking force.

About a year later...the band broke up. I guess there was nowhere to go but down.

This week sees the release of Cibo Matto's Miho Hattori's first solo album since the band's demise. So here are, the 11 Best Cibo Matto Songs:

1. Moonchild (Stereo Type A)
2. Spoon (Stereo Type A)
3. Aguas De Marco (Super Relax EP)
4. Stone (Stereo Type A)
5. La Pain Perdu (Viva! La Woman)
6. Everybody Loves The Sunshine (Working For Vacation)
7. Flowers (Stereo Type A)
8. King of Silence (Stereo Type A)
9. Beef Jerky (Viva! La Woman)
10. Sci-Fi Wasabi (Stereo Type A)
11. Sugar Water (Viva! La Woman)

Ezarchive sucks donkey schlong so no MP3s.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The 11 Best Bright Eyes Songs

I've been waiting to see what list will sitr the most angst from my readers. So far Bob Dylan has sparked the most ire...while at the same time, gathering many supporters. But that was an easy one to predict since the guy has over 500 songs. If I had to guess, I think I would have to predict that my next list will at least have the most passionate criticism about how little I know about music. Yes, I am talking about Mr. Bob-Dylan-in-training himself....Conor Oberst. When he's not dating klepyomaniac starlets, he's penning some of the most insightful songs of our generation...or so I'm told. Today sees the release of a demos and outtakes CD called Noise Floor by Conor's nom de plume, Bright Eyes. To celebrate...

Here are the 11 Best Bright Eyes Songs:

1. Lua (I'm Wide Awake and It's Morning)
2. Let's Not Shit Ourselves (LIFTED or the Story is in the Soil)
3. Haligh, Haligh, A Lie, Haligh (Fevers and Mirrors)
4. You Will. You? Will. You? Will. You? Will. (LIFTED or the Story is in the Soil)
5. First Day of My Life (I'm Wide Awake and It's Morning)
6. Something Vague (Fevers and Mirrors)
7. Light Pollution (Digital Ash in a Digital Urn)
8. Lover I Don't Have To Love (LIFTED or the Story is in the Soil)
9. A Line Allows Progress (Every Day And Every Night)
10. One Foot In Front of the Other (Saddle Creek 50) MP3
11. Don't Know When But A Day Is Gonna Come (LIFTED or the Story is in the Soil)

Monday, October 23, 2006

The 11 Primus Songs That Suck The Most

When I first heard Primus, I was only 17, a freshman in college and totally blown away hearing this guy wail on a bass guitar like it was a wicked step-child. I was hanging out with some upper classmen (you know the guys who used to have the good weed?) I said "these guys are really cool." They laughed, mocking me in only a way that a freshman gets mocked..."No," they replied..."They suck." Here's the thing I was too young and musically ignorant to know about Primus...they're motto was "we suck." and by saying "they suck" to the were actually saying that the band kicked ass.

In today's world, there's been a strong anti-Primus band wagon that's been pushing the reality that Primus really does suck...not getting even an ounce of the irony. Leading the charge is Blender magazine who label Primus' funky bass madman Les Claypool as a poor man's Flea. But poor Blender and its acne-ridden staff has made the wrong comparison. Primus isn't funk...they're prog rock...redneck prog rock...but prog rock no less. They just came out around the same time as the white boy funk movement. Secondly, if Les Claypool is anyone...he's a poor man's Geddy Lee.

Now it's not to say that Primus isn't an acquired taste...and they are definitely not for everyone...but 17 years after their first album, Les Claypool still jams to sell out crowds and their drummer is beating the skins for GNR. For a band that sucks...they ain't doing too bad.

Here are the 11 Primus Songs That Suck The Most:

1. Harold of the Rocks (Frizzle Fry)
2. John The Fisherman (Frizzle Fry)
3. Making Plans For Nigel (Misc. Debris) MP3
4. Devil Went Down To Georgia (Video single)
5. Professor Nutter Butter's House Of Treats (Tales From The Punchbowl)
6. Fish On (Sailing The Seas of Cheese)
7. The Antipop (The Antipop)
8. Jellikit (Suck on This)
9. The Thing That Should Not Be (Rhinoplasty)
10. Nature Boy (Pork Soda)
11. Wynonna's Big Brown Beaver (Tales From The Punchbowl)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

The 11 Best Me First and the Gimme Gimmes Songs

Cover songs are like musical crack. No matter who the group is and no matter who they are're always curious..."Nirvana covered Terry Jacks' Seasons in the Sun? ...I have to hear it!" "Pat Boone covered Sweet Child O' Mine? Turn it up!" Why does this turn us on? Why do we feel the need to download Travis covering Britney Spears' "Hit Me Baby One More Time?" I think it ties into nostalgia for something we already know. Can this new group take something familiar, re-invent it and make it new again? 99% of the time...that's a big fat no. But still we persist. Because when that 1% is's damn good.

The Me First and the Gimme Gimmes have made a career of floating around that 1%. They take poppy radio songs and turn them into full throttle pop punk electro-charges. From AM 70s to Show Tunes to R&B, the Gimmes have annihilated every genre of music except And that's the focus of their new release...out now. Until you buy this red state skewering...

Here are the 11 Best Me First and the Gimme Gimmes Songs:

1. Rocket Man (Have A Ball)
2. Wild World (Blow In The Wind)
3. Rainbow Connection (Are A Drag)
4. Crazy (Take A Break)
5. Science Fiction Double Feature (Are A Drag)
6. Danny's Song (Have A Ball)
7. Country Roads (Denver)
8. Different Drum (Blow In The Wind)
9. I Write The Songs (Barry)
10. Hello (Take A Break)
11. Uptown Girl (Have A Ball)

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The 11 Best Blind Melon Songs

You ever had a friend who pushed one of his favorite bands on you over and over? And for years, you kept giving this "supposed" genius band second chance after second chance...yet, everytime you listened to them, they still underwhelmed you. And you would just get mad at yourself for thinking you could actually enjoy this crap?

Then...all of a sudden, one day you went...holy moly, I really like that band. Well, that was Blind Melon for me. Their first album came out during the grunge heyday and felt like Seattle lite. Their next album, despite being on the heels of Shannon Hoon's death, felt more eclectic and unfocused. Finally, a third offering of demos and B-sides was the most desperate attempt...and basically put the nail in the coffin. And then it happened....

One day, my itunes was on random and played the song "Change." It was a good song. I decided to give the band another last chance. But this time...I liked everything I heard. Even the demos and B-Sides. Could it be, that Blind Melon was so far ahead of its time, it literally took the music industry about 15 years to catch up to them. In retrospect, that's not too far off. And with the release of their live album "Live at The Palace." It's time to look bad at a band that never got the love it deserved.

Here are The 11 Best Blind Melon Songs:

1. Galaxie (Soup)
2. Change (Blind Melon)
3. Walk (Soup)
4. Soak The Sin (Blind Melon)
5. Deserted (Blind Melon)
6. Candy Says (Change B-Side)
7. Soul One (Nico)
8. Time (Blind Melon)
9. Skinned (Soup)
10. I Wonder (Blind Melon)
11. Soup (Nico)

Friday, October 13, 2006

The 11 Best Songs By The Darkness

For the past 15 years, men wearing Spandex tights and sporting butt-length crimped hair was a comical piece of the L.A.'s ugly 80s music scene. Outside of Halloween, this look was kept in the closet or out in the open in West Hollywood...take your pick. But then in came the Darkness. With a voice of a valkyrie from heaven and/or hell, lead singer Justin Hawkins adorned the 80s-style without an ounce of mocking and nothing but flair. But to live the hair metal lifestyle, it takes a lot of medication to be able to take yourself seriously. That would explain why Hawkins is heading into rehab. Also, the fact that the entire last album was a reference to cocaine might be a big clue. Now, rumor is that this is the end of the band's brief but balls-to-the-wall career. But like all bands that are more gimmick than art, chances are they're not going anywhere.

Here are the 11 Best Songs By The Darkness:

1. One Way Ticket To Hell (One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back)
2. Is It Just Me? (One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back)
3. Get Your Hands Off My Woman (Permission To Land)
4. Growing On Me (Permission To Land)
5. Dinner Lady Arms (One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back)
6. I Believe In A Thing Called Love (Permission To Land)
7. Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time (One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back)
8. Best of Me (Permission To Land B-Side)
9. Bald (One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back)
10. Love Is Only A Feeling (Permission To Land)
11. Grief Hammer (One Way Ticket To Hell...And Back B-Side)

Thursday, October 12, 2006

The 11 Most Desired Reunions

This week Sting released an album of lute music. Yes, freaking 16th-century LUTE music!!! In what realm of reality does Sting this is a more crucial musical endeavor than a Police reunion? I mean seriously, when I first read this, I thought it was a joke. Nope...I guess Sting used up too many brain cells having sex. So, for now we wait...until then...

Here are the 11 Most Desired Re-Unions:

1. The Police - probability: 70%
2. The Smiths - probability: 40%
3. Van Halen (original line-up) - probability: 75%
4. Guns N Roses (original line-up) - probability: 10%
5. The Stone Roses - probability: 90%
6. Creedence Clearwater Revivial (w/ John Fogerty) - probability: 45%
7. Pavement - probability: 99%
8. Faith No More (original Mike Patton line-up) - probability: 55%
9. The Cars (w/ Ric Ocasek) - probability: 25%
10. NWA (w/ Snoop Dogg instead of EZE) - probability: 65%
11. The Jam - probability: 37%

Monday, October 09, 2006

The 11 Best Fleetwood Mac Songs

When I was 12 I saw the movie European Vacation. Besides wanting to go to Europe to experience a beer and sausage festival just like Rusty did, I became intrigued by the theme song..."Holiday Road." When I found out that it was sung by Lindsey Buckingham, I was very confused...that song was sung by a woman? Of course, not realizing that Mr. Buckingham was really a man had to be in fault with my F-Mac inexperience. But that's what college is for. Experimentation...especially with easy listening sounds of AM rock radio.

This week saw Mr. Buckingham's newest solo effort. In celebration, here are:

The 11 Best Fleetwood Mac Songs

1. Go Your Own Way (Rumors)
2. Little Lies (Tango in the Night)
3. Rhiannon (Fleetwood Mac)
4. Don't Stop (Rumors)
5. Seven Wonders (Tango in The Night)
6. Gypsy (Mirage)
7. Landslide (Fleetwood Mac)
8. Isn't It Midnight (Tango In The Night)
9. Sara (Tusk)
10. Brown Eyes (Tusk)
11. Revelation (Penguin)

Ps. This was possibly the hardest list I've had to do yet. The Mac is an extremely underrated band with about 25 songs that could have easily slid into this list. Go explore...please!

Friday, October 06, 2006

The 11 Best Beck Albums

Yes, believe it. Beck has recorded over 11 albums in his career, allowing me to do the ever popular album ranking. Why haveI devoted three lists this week to Beck? Am I that Beck crazy? Not really, there wasn't much else to focus on this week. Doing a top 11 for the Dears, Sean Lennon, or The Killers is a bit pointless at this stage of their careers. I wanted to do a Sparklehorse list but I kept falling asleep re-listening to their music. Weird Al was a potential list...but then again, it's Weird Al. So Beck gets the limelight.

Here are The 11 Best Beck Albums:

1. Odealy ( no surprises here)
2. Midnight Vultures (surprise!)
3. The Information (yes, I think it's that good)
4. Sea Change (depressingly good)
5. Guero (underrated)
6. Mutations (overrated)
7. One Foot in the Grave ( has aged well with time)
8. Mellow Gold (feels dated)
9. Geurolito (very hit or miss remixes - mostly miss)
10. A Western Harvest Field By Moonlight (a demo-rific look at Beck's early years)
11. Stereopathetic Soulmanure (at least it's better than Good Feelings)

Thursday, October 05, 2006

The 11 Best Beck Songs

Okay, I'm clearing out my inbox for all the hatemail. There's sure to be a tiny bit from attempting this one. I'm still getting emails from my best Dylan songs and that was over a month ago. Some people just have no lives...I mean, not counting me, of course. Like a primetime TV show after ridiculing the Christian right, I'm awaiting your begin when ready!

The 11 Best Beck Songs:

1. Jack-Ass (Odelay)
2. Lost Cause (Sea Change)
3. Loser (Mellow Gold)
4. Girl (Guero)
5. Debra (Midnight Vultures)
6. Lord Only Knows (Odelay)
7. Sunday Sun (Sea Change)
8. Asshole (One Foot In The Grave)
9. Lazy Flies (Mutations)
10. Mixed Bizness (Midnight Vultures)
11. Beercan (Mellow Gold)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

The 11 Best Beck B-Sides

Fifteen years later, Beck has weathered the storm and grown better with age. His newest album promises to be as unique and textured as any release in his arsenal. While digesting it, let's reflect on an aspect of Beck's explansive catalogue that sometimes goes overlooked...his B-sides. With the strength of some of these songs, one has to wonder how many other unreleased songs the guy must be sitting on. Beck box set anyone?

Here are The 11 Best Beck B-Sides:

1. One of These Days (Mutations B-Side)
2. Diamond in the Sleaze (Mutations B-Side) MP3
3. Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind Soundtrack)
4. Burro (Odelay B-Side - Spanish Jackass)
5. Bad Catridge (Gameboy Variations - E-Pro Remix)
6. Salt in My Wound (Midnight Vultures B-Side)
7. Electric Music and the Summer People (Mutations B-Side)
8. Halo of Gold (Mutations B-Side)
9. Diamond Dogs (Moulin Rouge Soundtrack)
10. Fume (Mellow Gold B-Side)
11. This is My Crew (Midnight Vultures B-Side)

Monday, October 02, 2006

The 11 Best Replacement Songs

Where do great song writers go when their careers are over? They make soundtracks to knock-off animation movies for kids. This week saw the release of the Open Season soundtrack, featuring new music by Paul Westerberg. From Cameron Crowe to Ashton Kutcher. It's like walking into a Burger King one day and seeing Bill Clinton working the fry machine. Of course, I'm not sure which is sadder.

Here are the 11 Best Replacement Songs:

1. Bastards of Young (Tim)
2. Alex Chilton (Pleased To Meet Me)
3. Here Comes A Regular (Tim)
4. I'll Be You (Don't Tell A Soul)
5. Skyway (Pleased To Meet Me)
6. Can't Hardly Wait (Pleased To Meet Me)
7. The Ledge (Pleased To Meet Me)
8. Sixteen Blue (Let It Be)
9. Left of the Dial (Tim)
10. Another Girl, Another Planet (B-Side)
11. Attitude (All Shook Down)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

The 11 Best Non-Album Tori Amos Songs

This week Tori Amos released a 100,000 song box set, filled with hits, alternative mixes, b-sides, covers, remixes, outtakes, demos, and a couple college football fight songs. To top it all off, the box set comes packaged in a full-size baby grand piano. And if that wasn't all...if you act now, Tori will come to your house and perform every song on the box set. (Okay, I made up that last part)

Picking the 11 Best Tori Amos songs would have been an arduous task and probably have infuriated many rapid Tori instead I'm going to focus only on the bonus tracks (b-sides, guest spots, soundtrack songs). Tori's one of those rare artists who puts as much faith in her bonus tracks as she does her album tracks. Compiling close to 100 non-album songs in her 15 year career, that's about more impressive than some bands entire careers.

So here are the 11 Best Non-Album Tori Amos Songs:

1. Siren (Great Expectations Sdtk.)
2. Blue Skies (BT - Ima)
3. Mary (Little Earthquakes B-Side) MP3
4. Honey (Under The Pink B-Side)
5. Never Seen Blue (From The Choirgirl Hotel B-Side)
6. Take To The Sky (Little Earthquakes B-Side)
7. Cooling (From The Choirgirl Hotel B-Side)
8. Butterfly (Higher Learning sdtk.)
9. Purple People (From The Choirgirl Hotel B-Side)
10. Sister Name Desire (From The Choirgirl Hotel B-Side)
11. Black Swan (Under The Pink B-Side)