Thursday, September 11, 2008

The 11 Best Metallica Albums

You can never make everyone happy. In fact, you can never make ANYone happy. I have a two-month-old baby. It's my second, so I kinda know what I'm doing. But if you ask the rest of the world, I'm the worst father ever. According to my wife, what ever clothes I pick out for the baby, they are ugly (even though she bought them...or one of her crazy family members gave them to us). If I take the baby to the market, I get people scolding me for taking a baby so young out of the house. And worst of all, everyone wants to touch my baby. And if I let them touch the baby's feet, they get mad because they wanted to touch the baby's hands. If I let them touch the baby's hands, they want to touch the baby's face. If I let them touch the face, they want to lick the baby. (Okay, I made the last part up)

So here's what I've decided. I gave up trying to make people happy...instead I'm giving them a taste of their own medicine. If my wife comments on the baby's clothes, I tell her that her clothes are ugly. (you can't even imagine the reaction) If someone bitches that the baby is too young to leave the house, I comment on how old that person looks. (I called an 40-year-old lady a senior citizen...she almost cried) And if someone wants to touch the baby, I let them do it as long as I get to touch them. (it works better than bug repellent)

The 11 Best Metallica Albums:

1. ...And Justice For All
2. Master of Puppets
3. Kill Em All
4. Ride The Lightning
5. Garage Days Re-Visited/Re-Re-Visited
6. Load
7. The Black Album
8. S&M
9. Garage Inc.
10. St. Anger
11. Re-Load

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Michael said...

Load as better than the Black Album? Wow. That's ballsy.

Chris said...

man.... i dont' give a crap about metallica... that post was awesome. i can only imagine these things but they are beautiful.

Chris said...

hmm, i know your a busy man... and i might be able to ask someone else to? but i don't know who really... but i am curious (blahblahblah).. what would you (or anyone else for that matter hell everyone make a list!!!) is the 11 best metallica songs. (i'd like to make a mix) i feel like albums is way too broad a spectrum in this digital day and age where singles seem to rule. i feel like music has gone backwards in that way.